So in order to make my self happy i need to stay busy. Busy keeps me from over thinking and stressing and making myself and others miserable. I work, a lot. And i need something in life other than work to keep me busy, or i fear i may go absolutely insane, ruin my relationship, become depressed, adopt a bunch of cats, and never smile again. So my only choice is to find a hobby. Now blogging may be a hobby but i feel like i forget about my blog way to often to keep fresh posts all the time. also i write about boring things that no one wants to read about and the only person subscribed to me is my best friend. I also do not tell anyone about my blog due to its lack of interesting things and consistancy. I along with my one friend, probably only use this to vent, so maybe on the stress reducing topic i may need to be logging in a typing more. well, its a thought and i cant promise anything, but until i find a better hobby this is it! I need to step out of my comfort zone and find something that will put me into my happy zone. this might include working out, pumping some endorphins through my sad little body, and creating a sense of self worth, which i also lack, and also do not tell any one about.
Relationships are never easy. I have had plenty of them, you could say i am an experienced woman. But no relationship i have ever been in has been perfect. I have learned from them and improved upon them and figured out exactly what i want out of a relationship. Whats crazy is somewhere along the road i found someone who wanted the same thing as me. As a person i have been through a lot in life, and who hasn't! the fact that this one person has stayed around for all of my highs and lows truely shows his colors. Many would have just up and left me, and by this point i would have just up and left too. But this one is different. this one lifts me up when i am down, brightens my spirit when it becomes dull, and thinks that things are fixed not thrown away. The biggest show of character ive seen is when things get rough, he puts my happiness first above everything else. when i need to sort my own problems out, he is there for me, my cheerleader. Not one person has ever done that for me before, people give advice and try to make you feel good, and without even trying he makes me put myself first, he wants me to be happy and he doesnt do so by simply doing things to make me happy, he encourages me to spread my wings and be my self, to find things to do to make me happy. By encouraging me to love myself, he shows me more love than i could have ever asked for, and makes me happy without even trying.